First Kiss
by Lovendork
Summary: Oneshot/AU/Songfic. Be careful who your friends are, they may just turn on you one day. Lovino learns that the hard way. Spamano, GerIta, slight Romano/Netherlands, warning for Lovino's mouth.


**LuvReinya: **New oneshot, enjoy! \o/

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><p><em>-<strong>Song used:<strong> Aa! – 'First Kiss'-_

_http : / www . youtube . com / watch?v = ZYuW1a-7wgk_

_~Why won't you be my lover?_

_Then why did you kiss me that time?~_

_"You're new to Hetalia High, si?" Green eyes watched Lovino with great interest, looking him up and down._

_"Uh, yeah..." The dark haired Italian crossed his arms and frowned, not feeling comfortable under the sudden attention the Spaniard across from his desk was giving him. "I just transferred to this high school from my old one in Italy."_

_The other boy grinned widely and sat down at the desk in front of his, sitting in a way that he was facing Lovino. "Oh, really? Why did you decide to come here?" The boy paused and laughed. "Oh, right! Where are my manners? My name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo~! You can call me Toni, if you want~"_

_Lovino gave the weird boy a look. "I'm not calling you that, bastard! And, I didn't come here by choice. My grandfather got a new job and we had to move here to this stupid American school."_

_Antonio nodded, eyes still fixated on Lovino. "Ah, I see~! Well I'd love to show you around the school, if you'd like."_

_"I don't need any help, I can find my own way around here!"_

_The Spaniard pouted. "Aw...Well, if you're sure, mi amigo..." Taking something out of his pocket, he slipped a pamphlet onto the Italian's desk. "Here's the school map! I hope you don't mind that it's kind of big, fusososo~"_

_Staring at the map for a long while, Lovino finally looked up. "Fine, show me around. Damn bastard..."_

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><p><em>~You knew I liked someone else<em>

_But you stole my heart anyway~_

"What do you mean we can't meet up after school tomorrow?" Lovino fumed into his cellphone. "You don't work until five, we get out of school at three. What are you going to be doing for two hours? And don't say hanging out with Francis and Gilbert, because I know they're busy tomorrow!"

"_Lo siento_, Lovi." A semi-apologetic voice answered him, the Spanish accent thick. "I just have some stuff to do, you know? I have soccer practice."

"Yeah, right." Lovino mumbled back, knowing well that the soccer team didn't meet on Thursdays. "Bastard, I've been your friend for a year now. I know your whole schedule. So, try a better excuse."

The boy on the other line got impatient, his voice now irritated. "Look, I've just got some to think about, okay? I'll call you back later." At that, the line cut off and Lovino was met with the sound of a click.

Sighing, the Italian hung up the phone. "Of course..." He said to himself, setting his phone down. "Fuck...Why did this have to happen?"

_~We used to go out driving with all our friends_

_I wish we could still hang out like that_

_But that kiss changed everything~_

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><p><em>~I can't look at you anymore<em>

_I can't even laugh when we talk about stupid things_

_I'm scared of how you can talk to me so easily_

_Hey, take me back to that time_

_Take me back to before that kiss~_

_"So, I heard the news from Gilbert." Antonio asked one day as he and Lovino walked to school together one day. "Your little brother and his are dating, huh? I'm happy for Feli!"_

_Lovino snorted. "I'm not. I don't care for that potato bastard, Feliciano could've done better." He put his hands in his pockets, even though the weather was extremely hot from it being summertime. "Nonno wasn't too happy about it at first, he always thought Feli would date and marry some girl. He didn't even know he was gay until he started going out with Ludwig. The old man got over it though, of course. He can't stay mad at my stupid brother."_

_"Oh, I see..." Antonio stayed silent for a while, glancing at Lovino every now and then. Lovino had wondered if he had dampened the normally happy Spaniard's mood until he spoke back up. "What about you, Lovi?"_

_Lovino glanced at him, an eyebrow raised. "What about me?"_

_"Are you also gay?"_

_Stopping immediately, Lovino stared straight ahead of him. Antonio looked back at him, still expecting an answer with that innocent look in his eyes._

_"Lovi?"_

_Lovino tightened his fists subconsciously, jaw locking before he spoke. "What's it to you, bastard?"_

_The answer to Antonio's question was yes, Lovino was indeed gay. In fact, he had been harboring feelings for one of the boys at their school; a tall Dutch boy from Holland that was on the school's soccer team with Antonio. And, even though Feliciano had come out about his homosexual feelings, Lovino did not. He was afraid of rejection and scared that people would look at him differently, especially his grandfather. With Feliciano as 'The gay one', Lovino was finally the center of his grandfather's attention. He was the old man's pride and joy now, a position he had wanted his whole life but kept losing to his little brother. He didn't want to give that up by letting the world know he was gay._

_Antonio just stared at him, eying the other boy's clenched fists. "I was just asking, no need to get all serious. Hahaha~" Stepping closer to Lovino, Antonio put a hand on his shoulder. "You know...Avoiding the question is just like saying yes, mi amigo."_

_Lovino shook his head, slapping off Antonio's hand. "What the hell are you talking about? I'm not like my bastard brother, I'm not a fag!"_

_"Lovino..." Antonio's tone became more serious. "You don't have to say things like that to me, I'm your friend. I'll never judge you. Please, are you telling me the truth?"_

_The Italian glared at Antonio long and hard, but the Spaniard's sympathetic gaze did not waver. What did this Spanish bastard want from him? Did he seriously want him to admit that he was gay? Did Antonio see Lovino looking at the Dutch boy one day during his soccer practice? Lovino didn't plan on ever telling anyone that, but he had gone without telling anyone since he was twelve, and that was two years ago. Two years was a long time to go without anyone telling anyone as big a secret as this. He never even told Feliciano. But, was Antonio someone he could really trust? Yes, he had known the boy long enough to know that Antonio would never tell anyone else, but would he treat Lovino differently? Antonio was the first real friend that Lovino had made in a long time, he didn't want to lose him._

_Looking down to hide his watering eyes, Lovino pushed the Spaniard away from him. "Damn you..." He mumbled, running a hand though his hair as he gave up the losing battle against his friend. "Fuck...Why are you making me say this? You want to know so bad, huh? Fine!" Lovino raised his voice, startling a few pedestrians passing by. "I'm gay, okay? You got your answer! I'm gay as my dumb brother and his potato bastard boyfriend, **and** I have a thing for that Dutch bastard on your team! Is that a good answer for you? Is it?"_

_Lovino finally stopped his rant when he felt two arms wrap around him, holding him gently, and a calm voice trying to comfort him. "It's okay, Lovi." Antonio said as he wiped away tears Lovino didn't even realize he was crying. He pulled Lovino behind a nearby tree for privacy, knowing his friend wouldn't want anyone else to see him cry._

_Lovino, at this point not caring what he did in front of the other boy anymore, buried his head into Antonio's chest for more comfort. He felt embarrassed about crying and seeming so weak in front of Antonio, but it couldn't be helped. He had told his biggest secret to the boy, but honestly, it felt good to have that off of his chest. He didn't have to keep it to himself anymore, someone else finally knew. And they accepted him. Behind his tears, Lovino actually felt happy._

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><p><em>~Why can't the two of us meet?<em>

_Then why do you call me so often?_

_Besides, you keep telling everyone_

_This isn't your first...~_

Feliciano was putting on his jacket, on his way out, when he stopped by Lovino's room and looked inside. His older brother was sitting at his desk, quietly studying for his final exams with his cellphone by his side.

"Aren't you going to Antonio's, _fratello_?" Feliciano asked, giving his brother a confused look as he stepped in the room. "It's his birthday and he invited us, don't you remember?"

Lovino shrugged, not looking up from his work. "I'm not going, tell him I'm sick or something."

"But...he's your friend."

"Not anymore." Lovino set his pencil down, hand tired of taking notes, and glanced up at Feliciano. "Don't bug me about it, alright bastard? Just go."

The younger brother frowned, wondering what had happened to Lovino's once close friendship. Antonio was Lovino's _best _friend. "_Fratello..."_ He murmured.

A cellphone vibrated, making Lovino turn to the cellphone on his desk and pick it up. It was a text message, from Antonio of all people.

_[Where are you?] _The text read.

Feliciano watched his brother text back from where he was standing, able to make out the words on the touch screen phone.

_[Sorry. Not coming.]_ Lovino texted back.

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><p><em>~I was happy to have made a friend in the city<em>

_But I see that was a failed sham_

_Everything changed with that kiss~_

"_Lovi, wait up!"_

_Turning around, hazel eyes met green. Lovino tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for Antonio to catch up with him on his way out of the school. "What do you want, bastard?" He asked. "If you're coming with me, hurry up!" It was way past school hours and the halls were empty. Lovino had just from watching Antonio's soccer practice, but left soon after it was over to get home before the dinner his grandfather cooked got cold._

_Antonio smiled sheepishly as he finally reached Lovino. "Lo siento, I'm here now~!" He laughed._

"_Yeah, well, come on." Lovino snorted, turning to leave, but Antonio grabbed his hand._

"_Wait, Lovino. I..." Antonio paused, suddenly sounding nervous. Lovino just now noticed how sweaty the Spanish boy's hand seemed. "I have something to tell you."_

_~Your smile is so brilliant_

_I love you too much when we're with everyone_

_I'm scared of how lonely I'm getting_

_Just hold me in your arms~_

_Lovino raised an eyebrow as he looked back at Antonio, he had never seen the boy this nervous before. "What? Spill it, tomato bastard."_

_Antonio pulled him closer, speaking quietly. "Well..." The Spaniard stopped talking, choosing to speak with his actions. He pulled Lovino in, pressing their lips together gently. Lovino's eyes widened, watching Antonio's eyes close as their lips were sealed in a kiss._

_The Italian was honestly panicking inside. Antonio felt this way about him? He had never known, nor had he even known that Antonio was gay as well. The Spaniard had made him admit that he was gay, but he had never said the same about himself. In fact, Antonio never said anything about liking anyone, so Lovino had always assumed he was straight. Had Antonio been feeling this way all along while Lovino had a crush on Lars, the Dutch boy? It made Lovino feel bad about all the times he had been talking about him with Antonio, especially if his friend had been feeling this way all along._

_Lovino's eyes closed finally, finding that he actually enjoyed the kiss more than he expected. Antonio's kiss was clumsy and anxious, making Lovino wonder if he had ever kissed anyone before. Although, he didn't know any better himself. It his first kiss._

_The kiss ended when Antonio pulled away slowly, looking at Lovino with an unreadable face as they opened their eyes. Both of their cheeks were flushed red with slight embarrassment and anxiety. Lovino's hand was let go as Antonio's hand returned to his side, the Spaniard looking to the floor with now troubled eyes. "Lo siento..." He apologized, moving back a few steps. "I just...I had to...Forget I did that, okay?"_

_The boy turned around, running off and leaving the confused Italian by himself._

_Lovino watched him leave, not sure what to think about what happened. "What...?" He whispered, although Antonio was too far gone to even hear it. Hearing a noise behind him, he turned and saw someone down the hallway near the entrance. It was Lars, standing by the school entrance, looking right back at Lovino. How long had he been there? Long enough to see the kiss? Before Lovino could say anything, Lars turned to open the entrance door and left the building; not saying a word. The Dutch boy's face was stoic, but Lovino could see the disappointment in his eyes._

_His fists tightened. If Lars was standing there to see the whole kiss, then Antonio had to have seen him standing there. Did Antonio set this up so Lars would lose interest in him? He thought Antonio would never purposely hurt him, but this was all too much of a coincidence. Antonio had set him up._

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><p><em>~Your smile is so bright<em>

_When we're with everyone, I love you too much_

_I'm scared of how lonely I'm getting_

_Support me in your heart~_

Lovino sat with Feliciano and Ludwig at lunch one day, picking at the weird looking generic spaghetti on his cafeteria tray. Not too far from them was Antonio and some of his friends from the soccer team, laughing together about something. Feliciano and Ludwig were too caught up in each other to noticewhat they were saying, but Lovino heard it all clearly.

"Those two are the gays, right?" One of the boys snickered, obviously talking about Feliciano and Ludwig.

"Aren't you friends with that guy's brother, Toni?" The other one asked. "He's not gay like his brother, is he?"

"Of course he's not, I wouldn't hang with him if he was." Lovino dropped his spoon, seeing where the conversation was going. "But, we're not really friends anymore." He heard Antonio continue. "He stopped talking to me, I guess he doesn't like me anymore."

"Ha! He's missing out then, he had a chance at not being a loser when he was hanging out with you."

_Yeah, it was **my **fault._ Lovino thought bitterly as he sighed quietly. He should've known better than to trust anyone with his secret. If he had never told Antonio that he was gay, they would still be friends now. A fake friendship, but at least they would still talk to each other. It was clear that Antonio was just stringing him a long for fun, just making fun of a gay boy for laughs when Antonio himself was questionable. How hypocritical. Now Lovino knew that he was right all along, it was better if no one else knew that he was gay. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

But, at the same time, Lovino couldn't help but feel the painful tug at his heart. Antonio had taken a piece of Lovino away from him that day, when they kissed. The Italian found that he no longer focused on Lars as much as he used to, and the thoughts of the Dutch boy were replaced by thoughts of the Spaniard. What hurt the most wasn't that Antonio kissed him, set him up, didn't want to talk to him alone, or stopped being his friend. Lovino was hurt because he had fallen in love with him. He was in love with Antonio, and couldn't help but want to go back to that time. He wanted to feel Antonio's lips on his again, like before. Although, he knew that would never happen again.

~_Kiss me again like you did that night~_

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><p><strong>LuvReinya: <strong>Yes, this is a oneshot. I'm not planning on continuing it. If you have any quesitons, let me see if I can answer them right now. If you're wondering why Antonio was so intent on knowing if Lovino was gay, it's because I was trying to hint that Antonio _had _seen Lovino watch Lars (Netherlands) from afar and needed to know for sure if he was gay. Antonio kissed Lovino in front of Lars because he was jealous and wanted Lars to lose interest in Lovino (because Lars was waiting by the entrance to talk to Lovino), even though Antonio wasn't sure about his own homosexual feelings. Antonio is gay in this story, but he hasn't come to terms with it yet. He's in denial and is putting up a front for his 'popular' friends, therefore not wanting to give anyone any ideas by hanging out with Lovino alone after that kiss.

I made this story to write about another side of Spamano and to touch on some of the problems of homophobia (if you can call Antonio's problem that). I just thought it'd be a nice idea, let me know if you guys like it ^^


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